In the shadows of great darkness, there are fragments of tiny light... little pieces that cling to the ripped edges of sadness, like glitter on drab cloth. These are sudden friends... the people I have been spending my time with for the past two weeks. Some are coworkers. Some are castmates, theatre folk- or dating theatre folk! :) They have been slowly sewing the edges of my life back together, piece by piece. And I am eternally grateful to them for this.
Whether they realize it or not, they have been saving my mind from racking itself on coals, searching for an answer to the question plaguing my diseased mind... "WHY??" Why did you feel the need to date me and engage me so thoroughly, then once you'd taken it all, disappear as silently as you came into my life?? For once, I thought I was doing things the right way. For once, I let myself be duped into active love. Am I doomed to the inactive variety? Must I spend several years wondering if I am in possession of a heart incapable of mutual affection? ...If you are the answer to my question, I'll never ask again...
Still, spending an entire paragraph on you grinds me well enough. I'm finished.
"You were wrong. You were right. You are gone, tonight..."
My focus, therefore, is on you, my friends. The ones who give me hope that I am not a total failure. That I am good and fun and alive and thriving. That I have something more to give the world.
And that, my dearest Lund and FCC crew, is actually worth giving my whole heart to.
"This is how it works:
You peer inside yourself.
You take the things you like,
And try to love the things you took.
And then you take that love you made,
And stick it into some...
Someone else's heart,
Pumpin' someone else's blood.
And walkin' arm in arm,
You hope it don't get harmed.
But even if it does,
You'll just do it all again..."
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